Thursday, May 31, 2007

District of Bizarro XIV: United States of Enron

Predictably the Senate Democrats, lacking a veto proof majority, caved to the Charlatan in the bunker and are preparing a war funding bill without strings for his signature. Every thinking American surely must realize by now that the regime could care less about the American people's desire to end the misguided conflict. It's mission is to service the corporate interests--especially oil interests--that fund it's misrule. To drive the point deeper, look at the tangled web of influence outlined by Public Citizen and created by one of the richest energy companies in the world, Enron:

  • 'Darth' Cheney allowed oil companies, including Enron, to literally write America's energy policy which can be summed up as drill more domestic wells and secure foreign sources;
  • 'Gonzo' Gonzales worked at Houston mega firm Vinson & Elkins that represented Enron and acquiesced in Enron's crooked accounting schemes;
  • Former Attorney General Ashcroft had to recuse himself after it was disclosed Enron had donated $57,499 to his failed Senate campaign;
  • Karl Rove was a major Enron stockholder when he met with Ken Lay to discuss Enron's regulatory problems;
  • Former Secretary of the Army Thomas White was a former Enron executive who sold off $12 million in Enron stock after he was appointed to public office;
  • Senator Phil Gramm pushed legislation to protect Enron from investigation and decided not to run again when the scandal erupted;
  • Wendy Gramm, the Senator's wife, sponsored a measure exempting Enron from federal oversight when she served as chairperson of the Commodity Futures Trading Commission. She then joined Enron's board of directors and served on the audit committee;
  • Former Montana Governor Marc Racicot continued as a lobbyist getting paid $360,000 by Enron when he was appointed the head of the Republican National Committee;
  • Robert Zoellick was a US Trade Representative promoted to Deputy Secretary of State in 2005. Zoellick served on Enron's advisory council;
  • Spencer Abraham was appointed Secretary of Energy. As a Senator he took Enron campaign contributions;
  • Patrick H. Wood III was Ken Lay's personal choice to replace Federal Energy Regulatory Commission chair Curtis Herbert Jr, forced out because he disagreed with Ken Lay;
  • 2000 campaign manager, Ed Gillespie, was paid $75,000 per month to lobby on the California energy crisis;
  • Chief fundraiser, Don Evans, accepted Enron campaign contributions and was appointed Secretary of Commerce;
  • Christian Coalition leader, Ralph Reed, was paid $10,000 a month by Enron upon recommendation of political strategist Carl Rove to keep him loyal and out of the way during the campaign for president.

If this roll call of sleaze is not enough to sicken you recall that Enron's 500 lbs gorilla, Ken Lay Jr. made Enron the biggest corporate contributor to George W. Bushwack. Before dying of natural causes, he was found guilty by a jury of his peers of defrauding his own employees of their pensions. May he rest with Jerry Falwell.

Weekend Update: Crony capitalism is alive and well in the Bizzaro. Never one to surprise, the Charlatan has named one of the above heroes of sleaze to be Paul Wolfowitz's replacement at the World Bank. Wolfowitz, a co-creator of the Iraq nightmare, shot himself in the foot with the favoritism displayed toward his main squeeze and colleague in the building. He resigned under pressure. The Bank is the major institution for funding development in the third world, and should be a significant appointment for any administration, red or blue. Can you guess who the nominee is? (hint: he is alive and his name is in bold). Obviously, the Charlatan has not outgrown his frat days. Ambassador Zoellick is a protege of daddy's Secretary of State James Baker III, considered a member of the 'inner circle', and a free market fundamentalist. He is also thought to be a friend of the pharmaceutical industry since he played a role as US Trade Representative in negotiating bilateral trade agreements which blocked access to generic drugs. Currently the Bank allows its financial aid to be used for purchasing generic medications for AIDS patients in poor countries who cannot afford brand name medications. Leaders in the aid community fear that policy may change under a Zoellick led institution. In other unrelated news, the Charlatan announced his proposal to increase federal spending for overseas AIDS assistance, and the Dow Jones Industrial average of stock prices hit a new record high yesterday. Must be the invisible hand of the market. [Yawn] [Note to Ray: Mimicry is an effective form of satire.]